after all of this is done, i think i'll be ready to give up on everything. i'll make sure to sign all of the property over, all of my money and anything of value, and stop trying after that. everyone will be better off without me.

that's all i keep thinking, anyways. i don't have any real friends anymore and i can't remember the last time one of them called me not asking about joel. i'm obviously only a caretaker. so i'll just make sure he's good and then leave so that he can find someone like tara that everyone likes better than me anyways and let them live happily ever after. i know what to expect from this moment on. nothing will make me happier than knowing that i'm gone and leaving everyone much happier than when i bothered people.