destiny's dead

for the first time in a long while, i am actually enjoying a cat power song. "he war" has got a really great beat. i'm pretty sure i've got this album. i like how i have a lot of albums from people i have yet to really get into, but people have recommended and sent my way. cat power is one of those artists. she came here awhile back, playing at the local bar club called neurolux. supposedly she'd stop playing and demanded her audience to listen to her. part of me thought this was rather selfish, and the rest of me loved the idea.

you don't even want to know how many times i've been up on a stage and wanted to scream out, "why are you even here if you don't want to hear a damn thing that i'm playing? take recess outside, kids."

i know i've done it a million times, though. shows make you want to be chatty.

my nails look terrible again. i didn't bite a single one all weekend until yesterday. one of my fingers just looks awful now. i've got to get a stress ball, or something. maybe i should just start taking out my stress with some sort oversized bag of marshmallows, or something.

i purchased junior boys, "so this is goodbye" yesterday, as well as logh's "sunset panorama"... both of the album purchases were the exact opposite of the sound i figured they'd portray. i assumed that junior boys would be extraordinarily poppy (along the lines of the faint and hot chip...maybe lcd soundsystem). instead, it was rather mellow for the most part. the most poppy song was pretty much the single ("in the morning"), which is decent with me. the album is still great. logh's "sunset panorama" is also mellow, which i assumed wouldn't be the case. i know that most of their music is rather mellow, but i figured it'd follow along the lines of the one song i got to hear off this song called "destinymanifesto", which is definitely a faster song. it reminds me of many different elements. on one hand, it sort of is like a slint album, and on the other, it reminds me of M83. maybe boards of canada. maybe even a shoegaze sound like my bloody valentine, galaxie 500, or human television. either way, this is a really beautiful album....i recommend it to all (and pretty much every logh album for that matter): logh on amazon

outside of this, while i know no one that actually will change any of this behavior will ever read this, i feel like putting it up anyways:

if you want someone to listen to your problems, i suggest you finding a therapist to get your answers. i'm not a free clinic. i'm a human being. i work all the time and rarely take time out for myself. i don't have time to make my free time your "expelling of emotional flatulence"...so if you think that's what i am, then don't bother talking to me. this doesn't mean i don't care about you or what you are going through, but it does mean that maybe i'm sick of being barraged by a sea of issues that brings up everything that i really don't want to think of...and like i said before, this doesn't mean that i don't care about you. it honestly just means that i'm sick of being treated like a doormat for your issues. it wouldn't bother me nearly as bad if you actually bothered to ask how i am doing, and not treating my good mood as being something that should be punished. so, if you are just waiting for that premium moment to ask about your problems and not even bothering to ask me how i've been doing, i'll be handing you this list of therapists for boise, idaho.

thanks.