Up to buy, katie buys a kitchen-size, but not mae ann...Setting trap for love, making a waste of time, sitting still..I can hear you. I can hear you.

wow, ecstacy and wine from my bloody valentine is actually a lot like human television or galaxie 500. this is a really great album...and really rare...

when i was younger, i hated being in love. especially having a crush. i would feel overwhelmed. i'd get nervous when i was around them, and i would avoid being anywhere near them. it was the only way i could deal with my awkwardness.
for once, i am rather happy with being in love. i meant every word.

i saw the coolest movie last night. american astronaut is fantastic! i'm glad darrin introduced it to me. its one of the best movies i've seen in awhile...things to speak of...

i've been thinking of travelling soon. that has been my biggest goal lately. when people tell me these amazing tales of europe or south america, i get wispy eyed. i have yet to leave the country, let alone the state for "actual fun" in something like 4-5 years. i went to portland months ago for a week for a job interview, but that was it. i realized about three weeks ago that while things are better than ever, i am slightly burned out. working around 60 hours a week for about 2-3 years, and then on top of that being in 2 bands and a solo project really got to me. then i graduated, started a new job the next day, got a new job and took a week off inbetween...and that week has been the longest amount of time i've had to actually relax in 5 years. my brain has been in hyper mode for quite awhile, which is good. it means that i'm about making progress and keeping my talents and attributes in check. at the same time, however, its kept me from taking on some travelling opportunities. so, i'm planning on saving some money in the hopes of taking a great trip. whether it be new york, sweden, the netherlands, canada, or iceland, i know it has to be done. you are only young once. you have to try to achieve all the goals you wish for yourself. my goal is to eventually have travelled to every continent. this is expensive, timely, and i am sure will take me most of my lifetime to achieve. i've got to though as a human being...its just the way it has to be. i want to experience the world as a whole. i want to know where i am from completely and to understand other cultures. i want to feel as though i've lived to my fullest.
i eventually want to finish my book. one of them will be a screenplay, which i've been working on occasionally for about a year now. from there i plan on teaming up with various comrades that are involved in theater arts and production and seeing who wants to take the plunge on the script. i already have ideas as to who i would ever want to play the most important roles, and i have ideas for who i'd ever want to film the script.
after that, i plan on finally writing my lifestory. as chuck p. once told me, "you have lived such an amazing tale that writing a book of your life is great enough. i know i would want to read your story, and i'm sure many other people would like to as well." despite the fact that palahniuk and i have not spoken in a long while, i took that statement rather seriously. i've been toying with what i'd want to say in that book...what stories to share. there are so many. i know what people would probably expect me to put in there, but should i put in the expected? should i put in all the struggles, or should i put in all the random things? so far this has been my idea.
i've thought about interviewing anyone that has really ever known me on various levels. i'm planning on talking to close friends, people i've worked with, teachers/professors, and acquaintences....and with this, i'm going to ask them to tell me a random story of their interpretation of something i've done or have said, things that they perceived about me...
basically the book is an interview of myself done through other people. people have their own interpretations of events, and it adds to a story. it can make it more dramatic, more disturbing, and many other things. what if you have three versions of the same story?
i like this concept. i don't know how i'd ever write it, but its a thought.
so far this is what i've been thinking of today.