just cause you feel it doesn't mean its there

god...we ate mongolian today. it was okay, but i put like 80,000 jalapenos in it. my stomach is mad now!
today has been very emotional and weird. good though. it started like this:
i have been working on this project that is strictly mechanical. it's a pump house filled with 8" PVC piping, with various drains and other fun stuff added in. i am strictly a transportation person, so this is difficult for me to grasp and understand. that, and they changed all of our standards. this means that i am trying to slowly understand all the process of how to enter in these drawings. in the past, we would draw out the slab plan, the foundation, the mechanical part (the piping) all into one drawing without xrefing anything in. now we do it completely different. you start with a slab template to draw in the pavement and stem walls, then the foundation template to draw in that section, then the mechanical. you xref each one on top of the other. this would be not that difficult if i was trained for a long period of time to grasp this in the format said above. instead i keep trying to figure out how to place in each element so that they line up perfectly. if each side needs a 4' clearance of pavement, then how do i bring in the foundation perfectly with that 4' clearance, as well as the piping? i assume that it has to come in at 0,0....it has to. however, because this is all new to me, i struggle.
then there is the borders.
then there is the dimensioning.
then there is all this other crap...leaders, notes, specifications...all on one sheet.
then there is my boss coming up asking, "is it done yet? is it done yet? how much do you have left?"
so i'm freaking out, using the wrong version of autocad (land desktop vs. map), trying to get this to work. well, our standards won't work with land desktop. however, we didn't have any more licenses left of map. this is when it all came crashing down.
at some point i'm looking at chris and trying to explain to him and doug about my issue. all of a sudden, i started crying.
"i feel like a moron. this should take me an afternoon, and its taken me about two days"
they stood there, looking at me with complete concern. "holly, this is the first time you've used the standards ever. you only had a two day training."
"then why am i getting this work? i'm civil transportation."
then the meeting happens. they bring this up in the meeting. they go over how people need to give me more work so that they don't recruit me over into mechanical drafting. it becomes a fight over each side trying to get me to do their work. it never comes down to how i feel, but who needs me the most.
then chris mentions how he's been using google sketchup. he hates it. he hates design. i was technically hired for design...and i know sketchup. so i looked at his drawing and said, "oh, its google sketchup." he flips out and says, "YOU KNOW THIS? YOU KNOW SKETCHUP?" so i show him my work, he flips out and goes off about how i know it better than him...why am i not doing this? eventually somehow he went off about this same firm that someone else here has told me to apply at. he told me the amount i'd be making ($20 to start) and all the nitty gritty about it. i got excited and said, "i'd be doing what i love and making an extra $6 an hour?"
chris' face literally turned white. his eyes got huge...and he was pissed. raging pissed. "you are making only $12?"
"i thought everyone knew that..."
"are you fucking kidding me?"
"no...wait, how much below am i compared to everyone else?"
"have they ever offered you a raise?"
"....no..."
"we are getting you the fuck out of this place. i am writing you a damned good recommendation, and you are leaving work early. go write up a resume. get the fuck out of this place."
then he went over, demanded that i get a raise and that this is "complete bullshit." thank god i had no involvement in that one...
and so far today that is work!

i didn't get the time to add to blake and my idea of the monthly "how's the flow going?" post idea. i was going to put it up on myspace, but it seems like far too much effort at this time to talk about the fascinating process of my womanhood. lets just say that the first day always sucks, and its the first day. oh...joy!!!