emotions in motion.

i originally wanted to put up the whole story, but i think i'm going to focus on the primary feelings and thoughts contributed to a particular event that happened yesterday. it left me wanting to talk to someone, but alas...the words couldn't even come out of my damned mouth if i wanted to.
people have their own beliefs. no matter how they came to the conclusion that they have reached, they most likely went through some processes to understand their world. despite the fact that it might seem difficult to grasp for some people that no, i am not mormon based on my faith, and that i am indeed what would be considered an official "jack mormon" of the trade, this is the conclusion that i came to in my life. i figured it out at a young age, without having to have anyone force me into this decision. its not because my parents stopped going to church when i was a kid, and its not because i am some insane heathen (okay maybe i am!)...its because as a child, i thought about the ideas of god. why does god bless others, and cause many such pain? why do americans have the benefits we have, but africans are left with nothing? how can we believe in something that could easily be put into a comic book format? i can't believe in comics. i can read them, i can love them, but i can't believe that rogue is going to come in and save my life or anything. sorry. i like to believe in the world that i think is much more concrete...the world is forever evolving. i've been casted down for years for believing in evolution. in my freshmen year of high school, we spoke of evolution in school. i was the only person to raise my hand in the "evolution" circle. the teacher asked me to present my argument (so yes, the debate was about 19 against 1). i still won my side of the argument. all i had to really say is, "if we can prove that the world is forever evolving, if we can come to the agreement that various kinds of animals have evolved into more advanced creatures based on the environment that they are placed in, how can i not assume that humanity itself had evolved from something smaller and less complex? how can i ignore scientific evidence and believe something to be able to sleep better at night? is that healthy?"
so i guess all i should say is that as a parent, you shouldn't blame yourself because your kid doesn't believe the same way as you do. most importantly, you should be embracing who they are because they came up with this conclusion on their own. you want to see them succeed. don't tell them you do, then add in that you want them to reconsider their faith. i've done all you've asked of me. i've spoken with missionaries, i've read the book. i don't care. i really don't care. take me in as your daughter. just love me for who i am.

and on that note, this was diego's response this morning to the event. he says this should be my new hymn.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnWGWabxkKs